Should I feel flattered that he cared enough to fabricate a ridiculous lie or should I be insulted that he didn't care enough to make the lie believable?
I received a call last night from New eHarm Guy. It was the call I didn't think I would get. Let's face it, I'm used to guys just never talking to me again without any warning. And it hurts a little less each time. I knew this guy was going to follow the same standard male pattern so I was surprised when he actually called me.
After exchanging brief pleasantries, he launched into his story. He told me how he received papers in the mail that day telling him he had a son. When I didn't hang up the phone, he continued on to reveal his carefully thought out dumping story. He said that "they" (whoever that is) had investigated all his finances without his knowledge, started garnishing his wages and are taking 1/2 his pay. He also said that "they" checked his DNA from a 10 year old DUI and confirmed he's the father.
At this point I started laughing. I knew exactly where this was going.
He said that he didn't think it was fair to me to be in a relationship with him with all this going on. And that he still wanted to be friends and would call me every once in a while to see how I'm doing.
I giggled an OK. I told him that I understood, "I get it," and that he had to do what he needed to do.
He sounded relieved and said that he pictured our conversation going differently. I told him that I'm an adult and I understand exactly what's going on. I also said that I prefer others behave as adults and with honesty. He agreed (apparently he didn't catch my sarcasm) and said he'd call me.
That should have been the end of it. But I seem to be incapable of telling someone how I really feel if that might lead to conflict. So after about 15 minutes I sent him the following text.
The elaborate story was unnecessary. I already knew you were out.
You see, I can live with him thinking I'm unlovable, unattractive, boring, or pathetic. What I cannot live with is him thinking that I bought his story. I just had to let him know that I saw through the bullshit.
He wasn't happy with my text. And I don't really care. I won't be responding to him and we can both go our separate ways knowing that we both have the full story.
So back to my original question. Should it make me feel a little better that at least he tried to spare my feelings in his own lame and overly detailed way? And did he really think that story was believable? Maybe he just thought I was so stupid I wouldn't know the difference.
13 comments:
Holy CRAP...seriously dude!?
No wonder he didn't talk to you much for a few days, he had to have time to plan all that out, with all the little details in case you asked any questions!!
I thought I'd heard it all when I dated a pathological liar for a year and a half, but holy crap.
I would have sent him that text too! Personally, while I understand not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, some people (guys AND girls) need to get it through their heads that the BEST way to spare someone's feelings is to just tell them the truth. There IS a nice way to say, "You're really nice and there's nothing WRONG with you, I just didn't feel the chemistry, and I don't want to keep leading you on."
When did the truth become so unpopular???
I'm sorry chica. You definitely deserve better.
Oh my.
That is the most ridiculous story I've ever heard. I once had a girlfriend tell me she thought she was bisexual (in an attempt to end the relationship amicably), but this guy's story blows that one out of the water.
I don't know if you should feel or not. I don't think he thought you were stupid, though. That's not why his story was so ridiculous. He told that ridiculous story and thought you would believe it because HE is stupid.
A good one is out there for you. Keep the faith.
This has nothing to do with you. The guy is a tool, period.
Now, onward to more interesting men!
I'd be insulted if some jerk thought I'd believe a story like that. Good for you on sending him that text! Who cares if he didn't like it, he should have put more thought into his stupid story, or maybe, I don't know...told the truth?
You know, if you are the least bit curious if it's true, you can wait a few months until his court cases are available online (if your city has that) and you can check to see how it's going.
If it were me listening to his story, I would have stopped him right there and started insulting him to make HIM think twice about himself. Making them feel a little insecure about themselves always worked for me. :)
You may win for most ridiculous story of the year. I'll have to see if I can find a guy that will top that one, but it'll be pretty hard. ;)
I think his elaborate story means that A) he is a tremendous coward and B) he takes pleasure from getting girls to believe this nonsense. I'm sure he always has some grand "break up story" he then loves to gloat about getting some poor girl to believe. And you took that away from him. Good for you.
Oh.
My.
God.
That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! DNA from an old DUI conviction? Seriously?? I second Angi -- why has the truth become so unpopular!?
You are sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better off without him. Sheesh.
They are the new breed of male - The Drama Kings. UNbelievable. I've faced more than my share! To the point where my profile now says something about honesty.
Um, when in doubt go with flattered.
Althought, missing Jack to listen to that Jackoff, was your mistake.
god, i need your input on my dating life!
You have got to be kidding me! I can't believe this guy topped the other guy's story about getting hit by a car! I'm starting to think that a lot of these guys are just on eHarm as a challenge to see what they think they can get the ladies to believe. CRAZY!
Oh god that is so lame. It's so sad that in today's world, a "good guy" is any man that doesn't blatantly lie to you, treat you badly, or fuck you over completely. Ugh.
OMG . . . I'm embracing my solitude!
Ha! I was listening to a radio program this morning, where a woman called in with a story about how her boyfriend dumped her because he was going to Iraq. He said that communicating would be too hard. Oh, and that he is married and may try to work it out with his wife. The woman had the deejays call this man who, turns out, is not in Iraq, not in the military, not married...just trying to get away from this woman (who, unlike you, was clearly psycho).
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