Monday, February 9, 2009

I am Wonder Woman

I have a superpower. It sucks. My superpower seems to be making sure guys I meet in person don't call me. In an effort to hone my skill, I'm coming up with a list of extra things I can do to be sure he doesn't call.

Things I can do when we meet to ensure he never calls me again:
  1. Wear my pajamas and fuzzy pink slippers.
  2. Never say a word.
  3. Or talk non-stop. Especially if I only talk about myself.
  4. Mention marriage and babies every 2.4 minutes.
  5. Order the most expensive thing on the menu and then don't eat it.
  6. Go to the bathroom more than 3 times in one hour.
  7. Take pictures of him with my cell phone and send them to my friends...while I'm still at the table.
  8. Wear clown makeup.
  9. Wear a blue tooth thingy and let my friends listen in on the entire date.
  10. Listen to my iPod the whole time.
I'm sure there are an infinite number of other ways to perfect my superpower. With time I will master them all.

5 comments:

Angi said...

Ooh! Ooh!

11. Talk about your cats. All 13 of them. Make sure by the end of the date he knows all their "names" and all their habits. Quiz him, if you have to.

12. Tell him you refuse to watch any movies that have more than a "PG" rating, because they're "scary" and/or "evil".

13. Enlist one of your male friends to tag along and sit at a table across the restaurant. At some point during the meal, point him out to your date and say, "That's my brother. He comes along on all my dates. He is VERY. VERY. VERY. protective. If you catch my drift."

;-)

LiLu said...

I love when they do this in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days:

"Call him late at night and tell him everything you had to eat that day."

Hilarious!

Diana said...

Haha nice list. Maybe you Should try some of those things sometime. At least have fun with it if it may not work out. :)

kev said...

14. Ask him, "do you think she's pretty" every time another woman walks by.

15. When your food arrives, ask him to taste your meal for you. When he asks why, explain that you suspect someone is trying to poison you, and that the waiter had just given you "the evil eye."

:)

Life On Edge. said...

16. Two days after he didn't answer your last email send him that says: "is it something I said? did I say something dumb? That would not surprise me because I always say something dumb" (tested for you by me - on my current husband hahahahah)

17. cry on your second date - for no reason (again, tested for you by me on my current husband, seriously freaked him out)