For the past 3+ weeks I've been talking to New eHarm Guy. We send maybe 5 or 6 texts throughout the day and talk on the phone 2 or 3 times. The conversations are usually less than 30 minutes and some are only 5 minutes. While I was away for work, he would call me every night before dinner and after dinner to see how my day was and tell me about his. There is no nervousness, no questions, everything is lovely.
At least it was.
Last Saturday, after almost a month of communicating, we finally met. We had lunch and it wasn't awkward at all and I wasn't nervous. We had good conversation and he seemed like the same nice guy I had gotten to know.
But now things have changed.
I didn't hear from him later that day, so I called him Saturday evening and he didn't answer. Oh well, whatever. Maybe he was busy. Although he's always taken my calls before, maybe he was in the middle of something. It's possible. He'll probably call me Sunday morning, I thought.
He didn't.
Just when I was concluding that he was definitely not interested anymore, he did finally call later Sunday afternoon. And we talked for exactly 5 minutes and 38 seconds. It seemed like things were the same as they had been before, but I just have this feeling that they aren't. And maybe they really aren't the same. Maybe he's just trying to be a nice guy and not completely ignore me. Maybe things are the same and my old insecurities and hurts are clouding my vision.
He said he would call me later Sunday night.
He didn't.
He did send me a text saying good night. It's not the same.
As I write this I realize I sound completely paranoid and that I'm overreacting. I just can't shake this feeling.
It shouldn't take long to figure out what his intentions are.
Real Estate Devils-2, Me-0
5 months ago
10 comments:
Ugh!!! What a tough one...I know what you're talking about, that feeling like things just aren't quite the same...but it's tough because you can't really say "What gives?" without sounding semi-clingy, at least in guy-language.
It is kind of weird, though, that he all of a sudden isn't returning phone calls and all of a sudden isn't calling when he says he will.
Hopefully you'll find out sooner rather than later what's going on, limbo is the worst!!
P.S. NOT to change the subject, but just fyi, I DEFINITELY appreciate the linkage in your sidebar, but the link is wrong. ;-) (www.sleepfordreaming.net)
EEK! Sorry about that! All fixed!
My ex has been doing this eharm thing too, he met a girl, they talked over email and on the phone for a few weeks, he said he really liked her but when he finally met her in person he said there was no chemistry. He said it had nothing to do with looks, conversation, personality, etc, he just couldn't put his finger on it but he wasn't feeling "it" with her. So they stopped talking. What's the deal with men anyways? They can really suck sometimes. I hope this guy grows some balls and tells you whats up.
Taken right from the script of He's Just Not That Into You. Isn't funny when life imitates art? Or frustratingly annoying? I share your superpower. We'll see how my date goes tomorrow night.
Oh no -- that sucks! I know what you mean -- I always felt like I could "feel" when a relationship (no matter how new) had taken a turn for the worse, and unfortunately my instincts were usually correct. But not always. Maybe he was so bowled over by you in person, he's now too intimidated to call you as often??
I used to do the exact same thing when I'd go out with a guy. I always felt like sometimes things were different after we had gone out. Sometimes it was just me being paranoid, but other times I was totally right.
I hope it works out, but if he keeps acting weird, than ask him why you feel like things are different since you met. Good luck! :)
Hey, Sarah. I'm reading all three of your new updates at the same time (so I know how it turned out), but I'll try to respond to this comment as though I hadn't read the other two:
No, I don't think you sound paranoid at all. People are creatures of habits. We get into routines. We don't break those routines without a reason. So, if the two of you were texting 5 or 6 times a day and talking on the phone 2 or 3 times, for those numbers to suddenly, sharply decrease...something (good or bad) had to have happened.
Given that this is a GUY we're talking about (not to hate on my gender, but come on...), you're perfectly reasonable to think what you're thinking.
Sorry. :-/
You do sound paranoid, but I think you have good reason too. You aren't a rookie at this game.
Hi I enjoyed reading your blog posts :) This post really caught my interest because I had the same feeling before and asked myself the same questions. Finally I realized one thing...I had to accept these changes so as not to feel bad about myself.
A friend once said to me: "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. "
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